Your Family Needs You Too

Growing up in my home, there was a high value on family. I was always taught family first no matter what. It has stuck with me throughout my life. As I grew older, I realized some of my family did not put me first or family. Some of my siblings ran off and never looked back. I also realized although we grew up in the same household with the same lifestyles our perceptions were different. While I didn’t run away from my family I never depended on them after high school. I felt like they couldn’t be trusted. I was dealing with a lot and felt betrayed because I was unprepared for the world. School was thrown at me and so was honoring my family. Life skills were not thrown at me so I had to do life for a while then circled back around to my family. I soon realized that my family was only doing what they knew how to do. I start seeing them with a new set of eyes and the statement of family first became true in my heart but not how you may think.

I started noticing generational curses and blessings. I will not talk about one without the other. Sometimes we harp on the bad things passed down and not the good things I will discuss both. Back to the topic.

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I started to see that many of the things that bothered me started before my generation of siblings and cousins. It started even before my parents. Every generation was fighting hard not to be like the previous generation. I started to notice for a small example, many of my family members got married but had marital strife. So I realized that although we valued family, hence the fact we got married, the marriages were not being fought for or breaking the generational curse associated. On my father’s side there were toxic marriages. Again same thing, getting married but not happy nor healthy.

Upon talking to my mother she fought to not be in a marriage she deemed unfruitful, she didn’t want to be like the generation before her. Then I got married and I vowed to never divorce because I didn’t want to “give up”. A couple years into it I wont to give it up due to a variety of things. But, God. God told me to lean on him for strategy and strength. This I did and we are so much better. In my mind I participated in the breaking of a generational curse. Why? I did not go through with the divorce and I also didn’t settle for a toxic marriage. We both put in the work to be better versions of ourselves. Now we have wisdom to share with our other siblings and family members as the go forward in marriage. This will allow the generational blessing of marriage to continue for generations to come.

There are so many other areas of improvement in families from mental health, sickness, terminal illness, poverty to say the least. Once you are aware you can do work to be the change you want to see. The reason I have been so focused on the saying family first is because sometimes we help everyone except our family. We can be the change agent for our family. We can be the ones that share the life of Christ with our family members. We can be the ones who decide to be the first to graduate college, first to run a successful business, the first author, the first one to unlock generational blessings that have been stored up for us.

Superwoman, while you are out saving the world, setting the captives free and healing the sick start at your own home. If you see some red flags with your kids get some help. If you notice you have some wounds that need healing get some resources. All it takes is one step to start making big changes that will truly keep your family first.

Nakeisa J.

Chief Flow Connnector

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